wants to be.. But cant.

I can see my Shadow,

In the darkest Night of my life,

bearing Agony, In despair,

Being dejected by the world,

want's to emit, but can't

I can sense the touch of a soul,

In the Brightest day of my life.

shedding tears, in vain,

Being censored by the world.

wants to have a rank with mortals, but can't.

Life without love is Nothing,

Love without life is Nothing.

To Love is to Give Life to  a Shadow,

And

the Aim of life is to Love Every one around you..

"TO BRING A SMILE"

Scene Of Gaffar Market

This poem i Wrote in 2008 September 13.
I was there in the market when the blast took place, but was far away from the place where it happened.
i came back to my place but on my way 2 my home i was able to see the tragic scene..
and wrote a short poem on the scene the Day after.
here it goes

People People every where,
    Dreaming, Yawning,
Going here and there.

some people walking,
   some people talking,
walking talking every where.

Smells of Scent,
   Voice of Gents,
People seen every where.

Sudden havoc,
   Bombs & blast,
crying People every where.

Someone running,
   someone Laying,
Bloodshed Bloodshed every where.

People HELPING,
People TRYING,

HUMANS SEEN EVERY WHERE...

CHOTU... aur wo 5 Minute..

Sunday.. 21st..
Ah! This day, i was eagerly waiting for this day to come. Since the 16th of Aug, there has been a Person named "ANNA HAZAARE" who has been on Fast to Fight against corruption, with his people from INDIA AGAINST CORRUPTION. I dint know much of him and got some information from internet to know him, i also got to know that he was fighting the government to implement LOKPAL BILL(OMBUDSMAN) in our country to put a Curb to corruption.

On this day, there was a big Rally to be called from "India Gate" and would march towards "Ramlila maidan" where 'ANNA' ji was on Fast. I took a few friends with me to there and could sense the atmosphere that 'This is it'. Now we knew that something is going to happen soon after the rally. I was astonished to see the enormous amount of people to support this person. After the Rally i went back to the metro station to board a train towards Karol Bagh and so i did.

I was feeling too tired, to walk back to my home which was quite far from that place and it was already 8pm. So i hired a Rikshaw from the there (bargaining from 20Rs to 15Rs ). I was thinking of the whole day as what i did. Suddenly, something came into my mind and asked the name of the Rikshaw puller, here is what, i had a conversation with him and this is what i m writing down.


I : Tumhara naam kya hai?
He : (Surprisingly) CHOTU.
I : Kahan k rhne waale ho?
He : Bihar.
I : Kitne saal k ho?
He : 14.

I : Bas 14, school jaate ho?
He : haan kabhi kabhi
I : Kab, subha?
He : nahi, 2 mahine baad jayange, jab school ki fees jama ker lenge apne Gaoun main.
I : Tumhaare mata-pita..
He: Baba guzar gaye, maa hain wo bihar main hain gaoun main.
I : Aur kaun kaun gai ghar main.
He : 3 choti bahanen hain. Maa ne pese kamane bheja hai.
I : to tmhe yahan kaun laaya?
He: Chaha.
I : chacha kya kerte hain?
He : wo bhi riksha chalate hain.
I : kitna kama lete ho.
He : (he looked at me) din main kabhi 100, to kabhi 200. pakka nahi hai. baaki maalik ka jo hissa hota hai wo le leta hai.
I : malik? jiska riksha tum chalate ho?
He : haan..
I : kya tumhe pata hai Baal majdoori gair kaanuni hai,

He : Kise farak padhta hai saab, hum paise nahi kamayenge to gahr paise kaun bhejega aur humare school ki fees kaun bharega( now again he looked into my eyes)

looking into his eyes this time, i was ashamed of myself as to why did i ask him such question, and we should ask the same question to ourselves.

He : aap yahan hi rhte hain naa saab? aap kahan tak padhe hain?
I : main Collage main padhta hoon aur ab mera aakhiri saal hai.
He : kisi din hum bhi collage jayenge saab aap dekhna? aur aapki tarah hi farrate waali angreji bhi bolenge..

I : bhut badhiya, lekin abhi to tumhara school jana bhoot zaroori hai iske liye,
He : hume pata hai saab, isi liye to hum yahan Fees jama ker rhe hain.

I dint have any questions to ask him as my mood was too-upset to see his plight, but was amazed to see his enthusiasm about his future.
then i asked again,

I : koi tumhe yahan tang bhi kerta hai.

how this question came to my mind i dont know but i asked.

He : (After a Pause) Chaha,
I : wo kyu, kaise
He : chacha daaru peker aata hai, aur sunata hai.
I : to tum iski complaint kyu nahi kerte?
He : kis se karen saab, jisne naukri dilaai usi ki kerenge to kahan jayenge?

he kept quiet for some time then He explained to me the kind of torture done on him every night.

I : Tum 1 kaam kero wapas chale jaao
He : 2 mahine baad.
I : roko roko.. mera ghar aa gaya..

I looked into his eyes, he was crying. I asked him why was he crying. he said that i was the first person who had listened to him and talked to him since the day he had been to Delhi. No body here cares for him and he surely wants to go back to his native place and live there with his family, this city for him had been a hell for him and he only thinks of his village and his family and friends.
I took out the money and gave it to him, turned around and took out my handkerchief.
there was a loud noice from my back Chotu calling me

"Saab baaki paise to le jaao".

i went straight into my house, i did not have the courage left in me to look back at that child again
I only wish to god to fulfill his dream and let him be away from this "HELL".
GOD BLESS HIM.

Note: the whole day what i was looking for, was going to the rally but at the end of the day, those 5 minutes was what that struck my mind.
dont have any more words to say..
Could not click his picture as the battery was low, and would post his picture if ever i find him(I hope i wont).

Thanks for reading 5 minutes of  Chotu and my life..

The Darkest Days of my life.

The Darkest Days of my life..

The Darkest Days of my life,
stabbed my soul with my own knife,
then waited for the wounds to heal,
got stabbed again, but with a surprise.




with agitation, i turned around,
the scene was not sound,
i found my friends standing there,
stabbing me, pushing me to the ground.




they made merry, they made love,
and they carried my body above.

my soul was shaken,

i was heart-broken,

i was watching all this,

when i was in heaven.

i asked the almighty,

"you are the diety,

tell me what have i done,

am i not your Son?"

He told me at once,

i am his Favourite, and hence

he had called me to be with him,

to take a little Glance.

to take a little glance on those,

who are my frinds and who are my foes,

lived a life with me, now tearing me apart,

to look, how their envy, Greed grows.

Who is to be blamed, ITS ME..

I don't blame you for what you did to me,
because it was my fault to bring you in.

You tore my emotions into pieces,
even difficult for the god to join.
but still i don't blame you.

My emotions are worthless to you,
no means of showing that to you,
my heart is a broken mirror,
spreading your shadows all around,
bleeding from every edge.

still i don't blame you,
the person to be blamed is
me, me, and ME....

life and WE

Going after the one who does not care,
and not caring for the 1 who cares about you,
such a sarcastic world it is.

Its really ironical to know that friends are only remembered when you want to enjoy the life,
Its bitter but its true
only the best ones are remembered in times of need,
some call it affection, some call it greed.

the more you want to thrive,
the more you are lost inside,
never looking back wont help you,
neither going forward.

The world has become sarcastic,
and we are mere beginners,
to learn the irony,
the bitter taste of life.

I just don't know WHY..

Plz. tell.. 

Basically I play with words, 

but these days, words are playing with me.

I know what is happening,

but, I just don't know why.

life seems to be happier than before,

but i don't have any interest,

so many are my friends,

but, I don't know the one, whom i can trust.

Every one seems to know the problem,

but pretends to have no knowledge.

I am a bit depressed,

I know whats happening,

but I just don't know WHY?

for a dear one

A friend of mine
sweet & Cute
some times chatters
sometimes Mute.

She is an angel,
sent by the God,
Really simple,
yet so Mod.

The World is like her own Palace
Spreading smile all over the place.

she is the Queen of Heart,
spreading happiness all around,
to which, she really is un-bound.

A beauty of her own sort,
even the best cant explain i.e. Mozart..

LIFE

no one cares,
no one shares,
the burden of life,
no one bears.

looking at the life,
we all want to thrive,
sustaining with what we have,
and to survive.


situation so demanding,
every day  its haunting,
success lurks behind the shadows
dying and panting.


the course of life has become
arduous, bizzare and notorious.